Don't let me go
by CataD'Mellark
Summary: Drabble. Post 4x09. The doctors were able to stabilize Felicity, but they have bad news. In the process of saving her life, a tiny one was lost. She'd been pregnant and the recently engaged couple didn't know about it. And Oliver runs. Runs to the place where it all started and breaks.


_Disclaimer: If DC's world was mine, I wouldn't be writing this, right?_

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 _Don't let me go_

The day he met Felicity Smoak was the day that he found a streak of light in the hole of darkness that he used to call life. He was alone, lost. But she came to him invisible, quietly, and the loneliness faded, any idiot with no brain could see the attraction he had for her, for her warm arms and sweet love, for her unfaltering faith in him and his cause. In Bali, he used to think about the demons in other people's lives, and how they wished to be free like he was. Now all of that went to crap.

So he ran. He ran like that was the only thing he could do.

His heart was beating so hard that it numbed all the noises around him, going from his chest to his head and toes. _Thump, thump, thump, thump._ The only thing he could hear above it was the doctor's phrase when he came out of O.R. and every time he recited it on his mind, his eyes filled with tears he wouldn't release.

 _We were able to remove the bullet, she's in surgery, but we're afraid the baby didn't make it. I'm so sorry, Mr. Queen._

 _The baby didn't make it._

 _The baby._

She was pregnant. She'd been pregnant.

But not anymore.

His child died because of Damien Darhk.

Ignoring the curious glances people were giving him, he continued his path to the elevator and pressed the button to floor 16. He barely made it to the cubicle before his knees gave out by the door frame. A guard eyed him from the other corner of the hallway but said nothing. It was Christmas day and THE Oliver Queen was in one of the tiny offices on the ITD's floor in Palmer Tech crying his lungs out. He cried not only for his fiancé, but for the unborn child that could have been their future, for the family they could have started, the new life they could have gotten but that would not come, at least, not yet. When Felicity... _God, when she finds out she'll be devastated,_ he thought painfully. He found gratefulness in spite of everything. She survived; she was going to be okay eventually. They could make another baby, but no one could replace Felicity Smoak, replace her bubbly personality that made him fall head over heels for her.

A baby.

He missed all of William's childhood. He still had a hard time processing that he was, indeed, already a father of an eight-years-old boy from Central City, hidden by his mother, a woman he didn't and would never love, in fear of Moira Queen. But his actual situation was completely different. He had created a _life_ with Felicity, created a _human being_ with his best friend, the only person he could picture a future with. Now, with the fear of losing her forever rubbing off of him, he felt the weight of guilt on his shoulders making him lean on the wall next to the open door. Why didn't he tell her sooner? Why did he lie and tell her that she had nothing to worry about when they returned from Central City?

He looked his surroundings taking every single detail. The walls weren't sky blue anymore, they were yellow. The desk was the same way that it had been that day, but it was completely different. There was no disarray on it; everything was on its place. The white mug with the big F wasn't there, neither was the bullet holed laptop or the red pencil she chewed. Everything was different. And yet, somehow, he could feel her smile from her chair to him, her babble amusing to his eyes, and a smile creeping through his lips, that secretly wanted to kiss hers, and her own smile made of pure embarrassment and shame, oh, man, her smile. So tiny, so shy. So beautiful. So alive. And ironically, it only made him cry harder.

Oliver felt two arms embrace him, and only the distinctive smell of Thea's cologne gave him the identity of who was with him.

"Felicity is out of surgery. They didn't say what was wrong." she whispered and held his brother as more tears spilled.

"She was pregnant, Thea." he choked with his own sobs, unable to stop and calm himself. "She was pregnant and now she lost our baby because of H.I.V.E."

"Then you know what you have to do, Ollie. We're going to make it. All of us. You, me, Felicity, and the guys. This is not it." Thea tried to encourage him, and her words made him remember his fiancé's words: _You are not done fighting._

"I'm not going to stop fighting. Not until Damien and the Ghosts are down for good." he promised to the wind. The velvet box suddenly felt heavy in his pocket.

"But now you need to be with Donna." his sister reminded him with a pat on his back.

He managed to stand up and look one more time to the office where it all started for them.

 _I'm gonna kill him._

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 ** _Hi, guys! I can't seem to stop writing about Olicity, like, seriously, every idea I get for a one shot I imagine it with Oliver and Felicity. I tried to write in other fandoms, but no, my brain won't rest until I watch 04x10... Hope you liked it._**

 ** _If I made any grammar or spelling mistake, please tell me, don't have a beta, just me and my chilean knowledge of English._**

 ** _Don't forget to leave me a review with your thoughts, good, bad, any. I really love them._**


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